A deputy sheriff was patrolling the local back roads when he notices a man lying naked in the ditch. He pulls over to get a better view and approaches the man, noticing that the man was holding his penis straight up in the air while lying there completely naked. The patrolman asks the man what he is doing like this and the man replies that he didn't have a watch and needed to know the time of day and by lying this way, he could cast a shadow that would tell him the correct time. "Yep, almost 2:00," he proclaimed.
The patrolman, looking at his watch, noticed that it was almost 2:00 but told the man that he couldn't lay in the ditch naked and that he should get dressed right away or else he would issue him a ticket for indecent exposure. The man got up, put his clothes on and left and the patrolman drove away.
A little while later, the patrolman notices another man lying near the roadway, naked and holding his penis up in the air. He stops and goes over to the man to ask him what he is doing. The man tells him that he didn't have his watch handy and needed to know the time and by casting the right shadow, he would have the time of day. "Yup, about 2:30," he says. The patrolman looks at his watch and sure enough it is just about 2:30. The sheriff is again upset and orders the man to get dressed and leave or else he would give him a ticket. The man complied and the sheriff went on his way.
About another 3 miles down the road, the sheriff sees another man lying naked near the road and he stops and goes over to him. This time however, the man is masturbating himself. The sheriff approaches him and says, "Don't tell me: you need to cast a shadow to determine the correct time of day."
"No," replied the man, "I am just winding my watch."